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As a college student for the past four years, I never had open conversations with my peers about money. We would eat in the same dining halls together, go to the same free plays on-campus and use our student cards at the on-campus coffee bar.

But money and our socioeconomic backgrounds were never openly talked about, and it was obvious who were the 'haves' and 'have-nots' when people mentioned their second homes or the boarding schools they attended (though we were on the campus of an elite liberal arts college, so we were all quite privileged).

Since I graduated in May, the socioeconomic differences between me and my friends became obvious as some of them embarked on lucrative careers in finance while others, including myself, chose traditionally lower paying fields like journalism and non-profits. While some friends talk freely about how much they're making in their first post-grad job, what they're spending on rent and how much they've started saving for retirement, others avoid any mention of it.

Talking about money in the real world, I learned, is still as taboo as it was in college. In fact, a 2018 study done by Capital Group found that people were more comfortable talking about race, sex, politics, and mental illness with their friends than they were talking about their salary, debt and retirement savings. 

So how do we break the stigma around money? How do we engage in more honest conversations about serious realities, like paying off medical bills or creating a student loan debt repayment plan? 

I spoke to Erin Lowry, author of 'Broke Millennial Talks Money: Scripts, Stories, and Advice to Navigate Awkward Financial Conversations' about how people can maintain their friendships and relationships while still being honest and frank about their financial situations.

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I still remember the moment I learned that you weren't supposed to talk about money.

It was summer 1999, and B*witched's debut single, \"C'est la Vie\" just hit number nine on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100. My days were spent listening to that song on repeat while I learned to French-braid my hair and ride my bike with no hands.

One afternoon, my friend and I were sitting on my driveway talking strategy about how we could pull off an epic B*witched lip-syncing concert for the neighborhood. We already had the makeup — sparkly body spray from Claire's, silver Wet N Wild eyeshadow and purple, grape-flavored lip gloss — but we needed trendy clothes to match.

\"I make $10 babysitting the neighbor,\" I told my friend. I was only 9, but the woman three houses down let me watch her 6-year-old whenever she and her husband needed to do yard work and other projects around the house.

My friend replied with something like, \"I get $10 per week in allowance.\"

Then, as though it was the voice of God himself, my dad (who, unbeknownst to us, had been within ear shot of us on the porch) chimed in.

\"Megan,\" he said, \"you shouldn't talk to people so openly about money.\"

Twenty-plus years later, and I do precisely that — talk about money — for a living. Putting my ambitions of singing backup for Irish-pop girl bands aside, I'm pretty satisfied with my career.

But can I tell you a secret? Talking about money can still be really uncomfortable.

I'm not the only one who feels this way: In a 2019 eMoney Advisor survey of 2,500 U.S. adults, more than half (57%) admitted to purposefully avoiding money talk with their friends, and almost two-thirds (63%) stated they've never worked with a financial advisor.

Yet, changing your money situation is impossible without talking about it first. Given the rise of student loan debt, the past year's increase in unemployment claims and the fact that so many Americans are behind on their retirement savings — it's arguably more important than ever to talk about money.

But if you're still feeling squeamish, don't worry. We spoke with Kristen Ricupero, a Pennsylvania-based financial coach and founder of Financial Fitness Coaching, on why talking about money feels so hard and steps you can take to make it (somewhat) easier.

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I still remember the moment I learned that you weren't supposed to talk about money.

It was summer 1999, and B*witched's debut single, \"C'est la Vie\" just hit number nine on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100. My days were spent listening to that song on repeat while I learned to French-braid my hair and ride my bike with no hands.

One afternoon, my friend and I were sitting on my driveway talking strategy about how we could pull off an epic B*witched lip-syncing concert for the neighborhood. We already had the makeup — sparkly body spray from Claire's, silver Wet N Wild eyeshadow and purple, grape-flavored lip gloss — but we needed trendy clothes to match.

\"I make $10 babysitting the neighbor,\" I told my friend. I was only 9, but the woman three houses down let me watch her 6-year-old whenever she and her husband needed to do yard work and other projects around the house.

My friend replied with something like, \"I get $10 per week in allowance.\"

Then, as though it was the voice of God himself, my dad (who, unbeknownst to us, had been within ear shot of us on the porch) chimed in.

\"Megan,\" he said, \"you shouldn't talk to people so openly about money.\"

Twenty-plus years later, and I do precisely that — talk about money — for a living. Putting my ambitions of singing backup for Irish-pop girl bands aside, I'm pretty satisfied with my career.

But can I tell you a secret? Talking about money can still be really uncomfortable.

I'm not the only one who feels this way: In a 2019 eMoney Advisor survey of 2,500 U.S. adults, more than half (57%) admitted to purposefully avoiding money talk with their friends, and almost two-thirds (63%) stated they've never worked with a financial advisor.

Yet, changing your money situation is impossible without talking about it first. Given the rise of student loan debt, the past year's increase in unemployment claims and the fact that so many Americans are behind on their retirement savings — it's arguably more important than ever to talk about money.

But if you're still feeling squeamish, don't worry. We spoke with Kristen Ricupero, a Pennsylvania-based financial coach and founder of Financial Fitness Coaching, on why talking about money feels so hard and steps you can take to make it (somewhat) easier.

","publisher":{"name":"CNBC","logo":"https://sc.cnbcfm.com/applications/cnbc.com/staticcontent/img/cnbc-hdr-logo2.png"},"relation":[{"position":2,"relationType":"related","isPromoted":"false"}]},"children":["Why it’s so hard to talk about money, according to a financial coach who does it every day"]}]},{"tagName":"p","children":[{"tagName":"cnbcnewsstory","data":{"branding":"select","subDomain":"https://www.cnbc.com","url":"https://www.cnbc.com/select/coronavirus-money-questions-for-couples/","type":"cnbcnewsstory","title":"Renowned couples therapist Esther Perel shares 12 money questions all partners should ask each other during quarantine","liveURL":"/select/coronavirus-money-questions-for-couples/","id":"106640776","contentUrl":"https://capi-bl-web.cnbc.com/api/v1/id/106640776","slug":"Renowned couples therapist Esther Perel shares 12 money questions all partners should ask each other during quarantine","tagName":"Renowned couples therapist Esther Perel shares 12 money questions all partners should ask each other during quarantine","contentClassification":[],"keyword":"credit card","deck":"During SoFi's digital event, \"Financially Ever After,\" Perel shared these questions to help you discuss finances with your significant other.","sectionHierarchy":[{"id":106336394,"tagName":"Select: Resources","order":1},{"id":105806347,"tagName":"Select","order":2}],"seoTitle":"12 Money Questions Partners Should Ask Each Other in Quarantine","image":{"representativeOfPage":"true","type":"image","copyrightHolder":"Getty Images","id":"106640961","height":"1965","datePublished":"2020-07-30T19:46:43+0000","altText":"Esther Perel speaking on stage","width":"2638","url":"https://image.cnbcfm.com/api/v1/image/106640961-1596138323565-GettyImages-1129245868.jpg?v=1596138403"},"featuredMedia":{"isPromoted":"false","isHighTouch":"false","datePublished":"2020-07-30T19:46:43+0000","branding":"cnbc","subDomain":"https://www.cnbc.com","type":"image","creatorOverwrite":"Getty Images","id":"106640961","contentUrl":"https://capi-bl-web.cnbc.com/api/v1/id/106640961","slug":"GP: Esther Perel","contentClassification":[],"url":"https://image.cnbcfm.com/api/v1/image/106640961-1596138323565-GettyImages-1129245868.jpg?v=1596138403","contentSize":466922,"copyrightHolder":"Getty Images","height":"1965","width":"2638","filename":"106640961-1596138323565-GettyImages-1129245868.jpg","altText":"Esther Perel speaking on stage"},"settings":{"dateline":"Yes","socialtoolsEnabled":"Yes","displayByline":"Yes","displaySource":"Yes","listType":"Manual and/or populated by feeds","outbrainEnabled":"Yes"},"association":[{"branding":"cnbc","subDomain":"https://www.cnbc.com","type":"image","creatorOverwrite":"Getty Images","id":"106640961","contentUrl":"https://capi-bl-web.cnbc.com/api/v1/id/106640961","slug":"GP: Esther Perel","contentClassification":[],"url":"https://image.cnbcfm.com/api/v1/image/106640961-1596138323565-GettyImages-1129245868.jpg?v=1596138403","contentSize":466922,"copyrightHolder":"Getty Images","height":"1965","width":"2638","filename":"106640961-1596138323565-GettyImages-1129245868.jpg","altText":"Esther Perel speaking on stage","relation":[{"relationType":"featured_media","isPromoted":"false","isHighTouch":"false"},{"relationType":"promo","isPromoted":"true"}]}],"description":"During SoFi's digital event, \"Financially Ever After,\" couples therapist Esther Perel shared questions to help you discuss finances with your significant other.","headline":"A couples therapist shares the 12 money questions partners should ask each other during quarantine","shorterHeadline":"12 money questions to ask your partner during quarantine","isContemplate":"No","state":"Publish","summary":"During SoFi's digital event, \"Financially Ever After,\" couples therapist Esther Perel shared questions to help you discuss finances with your significant other.","linkHeadline":"A couples therapist shares the 12 money questions partners should ask each other during quarantine","editedBy":"Megan.DeMatteo@nbcuni.com","datePublished":"2020-07-31T15:34:49+0000","dateLastPublished":"2021-04-09T16:33:47+0000","dateFirstPublished":"2020-07-31T15:34:49+0000","dateModified":"2021-04-09T16:33:47+0000","revisionId":10271029,"historicalURL":[],"createdBy":"Megan.DeMatteo@nbcuni.com","bodyTeaser":"

Money is a tough subject to discuss, even when times are good. But during a global pandemic, it can be even more fraught.

On Wednesday evening, couples therapist, podcast host and best-selling author Esther Perel interviewed two couples about their financial disagreements during SoFi's Twitter live event, \"Financially Ever After\"

\"Money is a charged subject,\" Perel said. You might be a saver, while your partner is a spender. Or maybe one partner plans with spreadsheets, while the other has no interest in budgeting.

When approaching money from two different perspectives, things can quickly escalate since, because as Perel explained, we're never really just talking about cash.

\"Money is interwoven with every dynamic of our relationship,\" Perel said. \"And ever more so in the time of a pandemic.\"

Perel argued that money represents power, access, comfort, trust and more, noting that recent events have increased the inherent tension that can occur when you talk about money.

\"People are, at the same time, having to experience the stresses of confinement and quarantine, with economic challenges and job losses that are prevalent at this moment, with the racial and social reckoning that is happening in our society,\" Perel said.

With so many forces colliding, it's no wonder money talk makes us anxious. Even so, these are important topics to discuss. To help you initiate the conversation, Perel offered 12 questions that help partners reach a better understanding of the thoughts, beliefs and habits they've developed around money.

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Money is a tough subject to discuss, even when times are good. But during a global pandemic, it can be even more fraught.

On Wednesday evening, couples therapist, podcast host and best-selling author Esther Perel interviewed two couples about their financial disagreements during SoFi's Twitter live event, \"Financially Ever After\"

\"Money is a charged subject,\" Perel said. You might be a saver, while your partner is a spender. Or maybe one partner plans with spreadsheets, while the other has no interest in budgeting.

When approaching money from two different perspectives, things can quickly escalate since, because as Perel explained, we're never really just talking about cash.

\"Money is interwoven with every dynamic of our relationship,\" Perel said. \"And ever more so in the time of a pandemic.\"

Perel argued that money represents power, access, comfort, trust and more, noting that recent events have increased the inherent tension that can occur when you talk about money.

\"People are, at the same time, having to experience the stresses of confinement and quarantine, with economic challenges and job losses that are prevalent at this moment, with the racial and social reckoning that is happening in our society,\" Perel said.

With so many forces colliding, it's no wonder money talk makes us anxious. Even so, these are important topics to discuss. To help you initiate the conversation, Perel offered 12 questions that help partners reach a better understanding of the thoughts, beliefs and habits they've developed around money.

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